Gaining Trust
by x.imagine.x
Summary: "At some point during those first couple of months, it became my mission to work my way inside the armor that encased Teresa Lisbon." Companion to 'Losing Lisbon'. Jane's thoughts on Lisbon and Bosco after episode 2.06


**A/N: Alright, so this was suggested to me a long time ago in a review of Losing Lisbon, and I'm finally getting around to doing it! It's a companion piece to my other story Losing Lisbon, except this time from Jane's POV.**

**Disclaimer: still don't own the Mentalist.**

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**Gaining Trust**

I knew the first time I saw them together. She sat at her desk, leaning back in her chair and smiling openly at him as he leaned against the doorframe laughing his booming, obnoxious laugh. Looking back, I feel something close to envy swirling in my stomach as I remember him so easily eliciting what it takes me the greatest effort to even get close to. Of course, I have to remind myself that he had known her for far longer at that point than I had. They have history, and that counts for something.

In fact, at that point, she and I hadn't known each other at all. It was my first day on the job that I came across that scene. She stopped laughing as soon as she caught sight of me, and I knew that they had been laughing about me. I could tell right away that Agent Lisbon was a straight and narrow kind of cop, as well as person. She didn't have any use for consultants.

I'm still not quite sure when, but at some point during those first couple of months, it became my mission to work my way inside the armor that encased Teresa Lisbon. She was so desperate to keep me out that it only encouraged me to keep trying. However, the closer I got, the further _he_ pulled away.

His visits to her office trickled to a stop, as did hers to his. The final time I witnessed them speaking was an argument.

"_What business is it of yours, anyway?" She demanded with her arms crossed defensively._

"_I care about you, Teresa. I don't want to see you get hurt," He replied earnestly._

"_What makes you think I'm going to get hurt?"_

"_You don't know what you've gotten yourself into with him. He's not fixable, Teresa."_

"_I never said I wanted to fix him, Sam!"_

"_You didn't have to. You try to fix everything that's broken; it's who you are."_

"_I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."_

"_I don't think you can here, Teresa. He's a bad influence, and I don't want to see you go down for his theatrics. I care about you."_

"_Yeah, well maybe it's time that you stopped."_

Seeing him leave her office with his shoulders slumped, I knew that I had been entirely correct. He was in love with Lisbon. I hadn't necessarily wanted to be the cause of such a falling out, although perhaps a small piece of me was slightly glad when he was gone. He kept her too focused on the past and who she used to be.

The argument was a pivotal moment for the serious, straight-arrow Agent Lisbon. She threw caution to the wind, along with Sam Bosco, and started to give me her trust, bit by bit. I'm careful with it even now, because I know how precious it is. Somewhere along the line, this became more than just a means to an end for me. This job means more than bringing Red John to justice.

Where I used to sit up studying the case file late at night, I now sit on the couch in Lisbon's office until she leaves for the day. It's nice to have someone to joke and smile with. I find that I've missed it. I catch Bosco glaring at us on numerous occasions.

He thinks he's won when he arrests me. He can't get Lisbon to cut me off herself, so he takes it upon himself to do it for her. I catch the tightening of his eyes as Lisbon protests, as he realizes his plan has backfired.

My time in jail is short-lived, and I know who it is that I have to thank for that. Up until this point, there was always the opportunity to turn back. She could always walk into his office and say what he wanted to hear: he was right and she was sorry. Everything could go back to the way it was. But she crossed that line. For me.

I'm not sure what she has on him, but it's enough to get me released from prison when I'm sure he hates me enough to saw off his own arm with a butter knife before willingly releasing me. Whatever it is, it's big. It could end both of their careers, and she threatened to do that. For me. She threatened to give up the career that means everything to her. For me.

I'm not sure when she became this attached to my safety, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, I'm touched that she cares so much. On the other, I'm worried about how close she's getting. I didn't intend for this to happen. I should have known better than to let myself relax around her, but I couldn't help myself and now she's risking her job for me.

Bosco came to personally release me, which I should have expected. The man would want to be sure I knew it was against his will. I can still hear his words as though he's right beside me.

"_You don't deserve her trust."_

"_I know."_

"_When you hurt her, I'm coming for you."_

"_I'll deserve nothing less."_

At least we agree on one thing: I don't deserve any kindness from Lisbon whatsoever. It's inevitable that my vendetta will end with me in jail and her heartbroken. I may have allowed my focus to become a bit clouded over time, but the fact remains that when I get the chance, I am putting a bullet in Red John.

But that day hasn't come yet. For now, I'm a CBI consultant. For now, I'm content to wreak havoc and test the boundaries of Lisbon's patience. For now, I'm grateful to her for choosing me, even if I don't deserve it.

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**A/N: Ok, and that would be it! Reviews are love!**


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